Super Summer Stretch

I started out the summer with ideas of jumping out of airplanes or quarry diving or kayaking down the Mississippi. As the summer progressed, my stretch idea changed.

My family goal this summer was to incorporate "service for others" into my family's life. Instead of having one big service thing we did, it became more of a bunch of little things to help others. I wanted to instill the value of helping others in my boys' lives and also teach them that even little things can make a difference.

We volunteered all summer pulling weeds at our church. We would go there once a week and just pull weeds. Some weeks it was easy. Some weeks, my kids did just not want to be there. We never stayed too long, just long enough to see a difference in what we had done.

We did other service projects throughout the summer. Each time I hoped that my boys would feel more and more thankful for what they have and understand and appreciate their skills and talents that they can share with others.

My middle son, who is going into 7th grade, completed 60 hours of service this summer doing various things. To see the proud look on his face as we kept track of what he did and added it all up at the end was priceless for me. He volunteered at his school library many hours each week. He volunteered at Feed My Starving Children. He packed sandwiches and donated clothing. He helped all week with Vacation Bible School at our church. His goal was 100 hours this summer. Even though he didn't quite make the goal, he definitely stretched himself.

Finally, what stretched me the most this summer was to visit a friend who was dying of cancer. Even though this sounds simple, it was actually quite difficult for me. Both of my parents died of cancer. My mom died 8 years ago at the age of 68 of esophageal cancer, and my dad died 2 years ago at the age of 74 of skin cancer. They would have celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this summer. So, for me to visit my friend, Maria, who was dying of cancer was extremely difficult for me and brought back a flood of sad memories. However, it was good to see her. I brought food to her family and spent time with her and her children. She has three children; the oldest is graduating from college and the youngest is my middle son's age. One afternoon as I was leaving her bedside, I bent over and hugged her. As I was hugging her, she whispered in my ear that she was looking forward to seeing my parents and would hug them for me.

Maria died last week at the young age of 52. She was a beautiful lady with a strong faith and positive attitude even in the end. I went to the visitation and funeral. I talked to her husband and each of her children. Maria definitely coached them through her dying process and helped them to feel better about her leaving them. When I talked to her daughter, Jenny, the one just graduating from college, there were no tears. She was relieved that her mom didn't have to suffer anymore. Jenny told me that "her mom had a new birthday now." I am so thankful that I got to experience Maria's strength and positive attitude before she died. For me, that is the ultimate example of a growth mindset.